Tarot Reading – Febuary First

I question you, I question us. I turn to my cards when there’s no other avenue to soothe my raging mind.
They answer and guide me, don’t get me wrong, but this must be the first time I don’t want to listen to them. I don’t want to follow their advice for the sake of my own comfort, my own selfishness.
I thought love was important to me, but maybe it isn’t as important when I’m not holding it in my chest.
The guilt that begins to pump through me when I think about what I want doesn’t compare to the relief that floods every sense. Time ticks by and I hear it scratching in my head, but I’m trying to hold off. I’m trying to see if we can’t compromise; a little comfort for me, and a little less feeling for you.
But what’s a little less feeling compared to giving none at all? Do you really feel a difference?
My river running to you is only a slow trickle, and I don’t think it’s getting any stronger; I think it will run dry soon.

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