I can go back to the place where you and I found our solace in the middle of the night with sleep the last thing on our minds. We would talk until everything else seemed so small and so far away; I remember the light of the screen being the only light in the house and having to keep my laughter quiet. I remember how it felt to be almost surprised I could still manage any laughter at all.
I remember our jokes, and I remember the times it felt like there was no more comfort anywhere else but with you.
When I go back to then, when I go back to those years ago with my gray blood and my gray skin and my gray face, I could find just a little bit of color hidden in the words you created and the way you made me feel like it was all going to be okay.
I can’t remember how long it’s been since we decided to grow up apart. There is no anger tucked away, and there’s finally no distress for having been set aside.
You were my lifeline when I needed one – and it’s okay that you left when I found my two feet again.
I just wish I could tell you that you saved my life and you will always have a piece of my heart saved just for you.
I will always love you.